The Sake of the Sake
by SteampunkSmugglerGirl
Summary: Well, the X-Men are too busy training to have much free time to ponder the mysteries of the universe. But the Brotherhood and the Acolytes? Maybe they have a little too much time...
1. Chapter 1

Magneto sat at the head of the table, brooding. Around him sat his (somewhat) loyal acolytes. Pyro fiddled nervously with a box of matches, trying not to disturb Magneto, or to bother Mystique, who sat next to him. On the other side of the table sat Sabretooth, who was filing his nails into points, and Colossus, rubbing anxiously at his metal skin. Magneto surveyed his minions, and decided they were sufficiently intimidated. It was time.

"My acolytes," He began, "I have devised a new plan to crush the X-Men, and bring about mutant superiority! Hear this-"

"Do we have to?" interrupted Mystique. "None of your plans ever work. All that happens is that we get injured and humiliated by the X-Men."

"Silence!" Magneto pounded the table. "I am a genius! I have simply been biding my time, luring the X-Men into a false sense of security!"

"Oh, obviously!" Pyro hastened to add. "And, we just love the, um, timing! Yeah, that's it, the timing of your plans. It's _almost_ enough time to recover from the last one!"

Magneto glared at him so hard his helmet almost fell off. Pyro hurriedly struck a match and muttered the word fire over and over and over.

"Enough!" Magneto whacked the table again, then whimpered and rubbed his hand. Sabertooth snickered. Trying to pretend that didn't happen, Magneto proceeded. "I have bought a large amount of tinfoil. We will completely cover Bayville with it. Then, Mystique will turn into a pterodactyl, and fly me over the Atlantic Ocean. Using my magnetic powers of magnetism, I will pull Bayville into the sea! Therefore obliterating the X-Men! There is no way this could fail!"

"Are you joking? There is no way this could work!" Sabretooth argued.

"What I want to know is," Pyro said timidly, "where you got the money to buy all that tinfoil."

"Hey, where do you get the money to fund all your schemes? You don't have a job. Even though you make me work…" Mystique said.

"And who's gonna put all that tinfoil all over town?" added Colossus.

"First off, Mystique, working at a school with my child must be a joy." Magneto said, ignoring the snort Mystique gave him in reply, "and second, Pyro, I got the money working as a lawn gnome in Vinny-tasia. Life there was hard for people like me… But I did what I could, Walking twenty miles, back and forth to my job, uphill both ways, standing in a garden all night to keep the trolls away."

"You worked as a lawn gnome? That explains your fashion sense," said Sabretooth.

Magneto almost hit the table again, but remembering the last time, settled for a harsh glare.

"But who's gonna put the tinfoil around?" insisted Colossus.

"I was just getting to that!" shrieked Magneto. "I'll make the Brotherhood do it! Mystique, when you return to the boarding house, there should be several trucks full of foil waiting there. Inform the Brotherhood what they must do! Is there any other questions?"

"Yeah." Said Pyro. "Does Mystique or you have legal custody of the Brotherhood?"

"What?"

"I wanna know. And where did Quicksilver live before he came to the boarding house?"

"Well- where did Toad live?" countered Magneto. "Cos from what I heard-"

There was a cough from the doorway. In it, stood- Mystique?

"What," she said, her voice dangerously calm. "In the name of sanity, which is something you all obviously don't posses, is going on here?"

Pietro reached up and pulled the pot from his head and tugged the red blanket off his shoulders. Around him, the rest of the Brotherhood was doing similar things. Toad had pulled off the orange sweatshirt he was wearing, and used it to rub out some of the gel that had kept his hair in spikes. Rogue was wiping blue makeup off her face. There was a painful sounding rrriip! As Blob puller silver duct tape off his arms, and Lance had put down the file and the blonde wig he had been wearing.

"I'm waiting." said Mystique, tapping her foot.

"Uhh," Pietro looked around, hoping some kind of decent excuse would come to mind. One didn't. Instead, he handed her an empty cardboard tube, the object that had started the whole thing. "We need more tinfoil."


	2. Chapter 2

Evan Daniels sat at the foot of his bed, sulking. "You mess up one time, and they smash you!" The thirteen year old complained.

Ping!

Evan's head jerked around, looking for the source of the sound, but finding nothing, went back to sulking.

"I mean, how was I supposed to remember not to skateboard in the house?"

Ping!

"New skateboard, long hallway, I just wanted to try it out!"

Ping!

"And you can't really see the skid mark if you keep the light off…"

Ping!

"Argh!" Evan stormed over to the window and jerked it out, just in time to get hit in the face with a rock. "Ow! What is your problem!"

"Shh!" hissed the white haired young boy standing under Evans window. "It's not my fault you didn't warn me you were gonna open it."

"Why are you here Pietro? I'm grounded!"

Pietro spread his hands, as if to imply he was God's gift to mankind— which he probably thought he was. "I'm here to keep you company! Can I come up?"

Evan glanced nervously at the door. "I guess so. But if we get caught, I'm saying you forced your way into my room."

"Wow dude, way to throw me under the bus, _and_ make me sound like a creeper!" Pietro said as he climbed up onto the porch railing, then onto the roof and through Evans window. "So why'ya grounded?"

"Got caught skateboarding in the house," Evan admitted.

"Didn't you get yelled at for doing that yesterday?"

"Well yeah, but it was a new board, and I just wanted to try it out…"

"You know there's a sidewalk right in front of your house, right? We walk on it every day."

"Shut up! You're worse than my mom." Evan complained, walking over to sit on his bed. Pietro followed, setting his backpack down with a metallic clang.

"Dude, whatcha got in there? Silverware?" asked Evan.

"No, it's a haircutting kit. I picked it up from the store for my neighbor. You know, the lady with pink hair? It's a bunch of different scissors, and a razor and stuff." Pietro replied, dumping the object onto Evans bed.

"Wow, what does she need all this for?"

"She's going to hair cutting school."

"You need to go to go to school to learn how to cut hair?" Evan said, rubbing a hand across his own head of blond hair. "That's stupid! I could cut hair!"

"No you couldn't! It's a lot harder than it looks!"

"Oh yeah? I bet I could do a better job of it than you could, Pietro!"

"Ooh, sounds like a challenge." Pietro said, picking up a pair of scissors. "Snip snip."

"I'm going first." Insisted Evan, grabbing the scissors. "Sit in this chair."

"Okay. But don't mess up! My hair one of my best features…"

Evan rolled his eyes, and got to work.

Ten minutes later, he was ready to retract his statement that cutting hair was easy. But he wasn't really sure how to fix what he'd don't, and every snip just seemed to make things worse. Plus, Pietro wouldn't stay still, which was making things even harder.

"Are you done yet?"

"I guess so…"

"You guess so? What do you mean you guess so?" Pietro stood up and walked over to Evan's mirror.

"AUGH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Pietro shrieked, actually sounding like he was in pain.

"Well, you wouldn't stop moving!

"This is horrible! I can't go out like this! People will laugh and point! They'll say: There goes Pietro! They white hared badly trimmed freak! I'll be ostracized! My family will disown me!"

"You have a family?"

"I can feel my self esteem vanishing-"

"That might be a good thing..."

"I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!"

"Whoa, calm down, Pietro!" Evan said. He hadn't seen Pietro this hysterical since the day someone convinced him his white hair meant he was going to die prematurely. And that was bad. He'd had to duct tape him to a chair and convince him to calm down, which was a complicated, stressful process he never wanted to go through gain.

"How about I let you try with my hair?" Evan offered. He regretted it the moment it came out his mouth. Pietro turned towards him, looking completely calm, exept for that almost hidden gleam of evil crazy genius in his eye.

"Okay. Sit in the chair." Pietro said as if the last minute or so hadn't happened.

Evan sat, nervously. Pietro grabbed the razor off the bed flipped it on, and ran it across the back of Evan's head.

"Dude! What did you do that for?" Evan protested, staring at the bald line running through his hair.

"You messed up my hai- Wait, this could work! I'll just even out this…" Pietro grabbed a scissor, and set to work trimming the 'wings' Evan had cut into his hair to be even.

"What am I gonna do? I'm not shaving my head!" Evan said.

"Here, just cut right here." Pietro picked up the razor again, and cut the bottom strip of hair so it was pointy on the sides. "See? Now it looks like you meant to do this!"

"Huh, not too bad…" Evan said, examining his new haircut.

"Evan! Dinner!" a voice called from downstairs.

"Hey, you staying for dinner?" Evan invited.

Pietro frowned. "Aren't I not supposed to be here?"

"My mom won't mind. I'm pretty sure she thinks you live under our porch you're here so often anyways."

"Maybe I do, Evan, maybe I do. Race you to the table!"


	3. Chapter 3

Rogue stared at her favorite green shirt, knowing what she had to do, but dreading doing it. With a sigh, she dropped it on the bed, and tugged on a sweatshirt. "Pietro!"

Wham!

"Careful, the door's locked," she added.

"Figured that..." Pietro wheezed from the hallway floor.

Rogue walked over and slid the bolt over, and opened the door. Pietro stood up and leaned against the doorframe. "You rang?"

"Unfortunately." She held out her shirt. "It got ripped. Can you fix it?"

"For a price, yeah."

"You fix the shirt, and I don't show everyone that picture of some dark haired girl you keep in your dresser."

"That's not what it looks like!" said Pietro.

Ding dong!

"I'll get the door!" yelled Pietro, grabbing Rogues shirt as he sped down the hall.

Rogue heard the sound of the door being opened, then slammed shut.

"Run! Mystique's at the door! And she's mad!"

"Why's she mad?" Rogue asked, walking to the top of the stairs. Pietro materialized next to her.

"Cause I shut the door in her face. Duh."

"There is something wrong with you." Rogue walked over and opened the door. Mystique stood there, in her Principal Darkholme form. Standing next to her was a tall, brown-haired boy.

"Hello Rogue. May we come in?" Mystique asked, looking pointedly at Pietro.

"Yeah, sure. Who's this?" Rogue asked.

"I'm Karl." The boy said, holding out his hand. Rouge almost reached for it, but then remembered she wasn't wearing gloves.

"I'm Rogue, but I can't really-"

"I know." Karl said. "Your powers were explained to me on the way over. And I have a theory about that. You see, part of my power is also touch based."

"Yeah, so?" asked Rogue, walking over into the living room.

"Well, I think that-"

"Hey Rogue! I'm done! Do you want your shirt back?" Pietro asked from the kitchen.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Just leave it on the table!"

"Why do you have her shirt?" Mystique asked, eyebrows arching.

"Cause she ripped it, and I fixed it, 'cause I'm fabulous at everything." Pietro said. "Who's this? Is he staying? We should put him with Toad!"

"You want me to sleep with your pet?"

"Pretty much," Rogue mumbled.

"Pietro, this is Karl. He is considering joining us. I expect you to show him the same courtesy you show me, alright?" Mystique said.

"I just shut a door on you," Pietro pointed out.

Mystique groaned slightly, and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Sorry, he's not usually like this," Rogue lied to Karl.

"I bet not. Did you run out of meds?"

"Hey!" Pietro said, offended.

"That was kinda rude," Rogue pointed out, feeling the need to defend her teammate.

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't trying to offend anyone, it's just that I've met another speedster, and he was much calmer. I just assumed you had ADHD. I'm studying to be a doctor, and I saw some of the signs, so…" Karl trailed off when he caught sight of Mystique's face.

"Pietro Maximoff, are you supposed to be taking some kind of medication that would make my life easier?"

"I dunno."

Mystique made a sound half way between a cough and a growl.

"What! I don't! I was taking them for a while, but my father had me stop a few years ago. I don't think they worked with my heightened metabolism."

Karl tapped Rogue on the shoulder. "There's something I want to try. Can we step into the kitchen for a second?"

"Sure."

They walked in, and sat down at the table.

"Rogue, since your powers involve draining the memories and powers of people you touch, and mine involve siphoning off energy from people I touch, I believe that were we to join hands, our powers would cancel each other out."

"Wait, you mean, I wouldn't hurt you?"

"I don't think so. I'm willing to try. Are you?" Karl asked, holding out his hand.

"Well, if you're sure…" Rogue said, reaching out and taking the offered hand.

She waited for the inevitable pain and the rush of others thoughts.

Nothing happened.

Rogue removed her hand, and tried again. "Oh my gosh, I can touch!" She cried.

Karl laughed. "I'm glad this worked."

"I mean, I've been wearing gloves for so long, and every time I took them off I just hurt someone! Kurt, and Storm, and Scott…"

Karl's face changed, becoming more serious. "Wait, you said Scott. As in Scott Summers?"

"Yeah, why?"

Karl's face again began to change, but not just in emotion this time. His skin turned green, his eyes turned red, and his nose and chin elongated into a beak.

"SSSAURON LIVES!"

"Wow Rogue, I'm kinda offended. You'd rather hang out with a shirtless dinosaur than me? And I fixed you shirt for you…" Pietro complained fro where he stood in the doorway.

"There is definitely something wrong with you!" Rogue shrieked, lunging out of the way of Sauron trying to tackle her.

"You have the red energy… Ssauron will feed!"

"Not today, Zurg!" Pietro said, tripping Sauron up as he ran after Rogue. "What does he mean red energy?"

"I think 'cause I absorbed Scott's powers, he wants to drain my energy!" Rogue theorized as she pushed a chair at Sauron.

"What is going on here?" Mystique asked, standing horrified in the doorway.

"I think he likes it here!"

"Don't just stand there, help us!" yelled Rogue.

Sauron took the slight distraction to whack Pietro in the face with his wing. But as he did that, Mystique ran forwards and kicked him in the side of the head. Sauron dropped like a rock. Unfortunately, so did Pietro. Right onto Rogue, who wasn't wearing any gloves.

"Ahhh!" both teenagers yelled, before Rogue managed to push the speedster off of her.

"Are you alright?" asked Mystique.

"I'm fine," said Rogue, a little quicker than usual. "But maybe you should check on Pietro. I've never seen him this still…"

Mystique knelt down and shook Pietro's shoulder. His eyes flickered open.

"Ooh, that's the last time I ever do anything nice for you…"

"Come on, I'm not carrying you to the couch." Rogue said, putting Pietro's arm around her and helping him to stand.

"Dino guy isn't staying, is he? 'Cause I don't think I can do this more than once a week…"

"No, I'll tell your father that it didn't work out. And see if we can't find some extra strength pills for you." Mystique said.

"Hey!"

"She meant pain pills, idiot. Nothing to do with ADHD. I've got a feeling nothing can slow you down, or lessen your crazy," said Rogue.

"Darn right." Said Pietro, and closed his eyes.

**It is canon that Pietro has ADHD. Also, I am fully aware that he is in these stories way too much, but he's so fun to write!**

**Thanks to all who reviewed! I've never had so many (And by so many I mean four) reviews!**

**Oh, and to the guest reviewer, Silver: I'm glad you like it! I don't think we'll see Mrs. Daniels reaction to the boy's new haircuts, but there's a good chance you'll see more of Evan and Pietro as friends. Apparently they've know each other for quite a while, and they seem the type to get into plenty of trouble.**


	4. Chapter 4

"A note for all future attacks on the X-Men. Check the weather first!" Lance Alvers complained, watching the heavy snow fall from inside the X Mansion.

"Oh, come on, it could be worse. If we had decided to walk back home when it started snowing, Toad might have gotten serious frostbite, instead of just freezer burn," Rogue said.

"True," Lance agreed grudgingly "But this whole situation is really awkward. The X-Men are just staring at us."

There was a commotion from the next room, and then Scott Summers walked in, followed by Jean.

"I'm fine! The doctor cleared me, I'm not contagious anymore. Just let me sit in here!"

"Scott, I just don't think it's a good idea to have you around the Brotherhood so soon after you've been sick," Jean said.

"True. The stress might cause him to have a relapse," Pietro said around whatever food was in his mouth.

"What are you eating?" Rogue asked, suspiciously. He'd been gone for a few minutes, and the last thing they needed was for him to eat the X-Men out of house and home in the middle of a blizzard.

Pietro swallowed. "Nothing."

Scott had sunk into an easy chair, and sighed as the heat from the large fire place began to warm him.

"You were sick? What'd you have?" Rogue said.

"I had the flu. It was awful! I had a terrible headache. I had all the lights turned off and my eyes taped shut," Scott answered.

"Your eyes taped shut? Why didn't you just wear a blindfold?" Pietro asked.

"Have you ever worn something tied tightly around your head when you have a migraine?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess that wouldn't be fun. But you're sure you're not catching anymore?"

"Why would you care?" Rogue said. "You got over the flu in two hours."

"Maybe I'm concerned about you, 'sugah'," Pietro smirked.

Rogue rolled her eyes.

There were a few minutes of awkward silence, which no one really tried to break.

"Hey, I bet I could take my glasses off," Scott said suddenly.

"Wouldn't you punch a hole in the wall if you did that?" Lance asked, confused.

"Usually, yeah. But since I haven't been in the sun for a few days, I've absorbed no solar energy, so my eye beams won't work; they have nothing to run on."

"Wait, so you haven't solar charged your eye batteries?" Pietro said.

"I guess you could put it like that…"

"Wow Pietro, you just wrote _Scott Summers for dummies!" _ Lance said.

"I did it for you," Pietro replied.

"So are you gonna take your glasses off?" Rogue asked.

"If you want me to." Scott reached up and removed his glasses, opening his eyes cautiously. "See? No eye beams." He said, smiling at her.

Rogue could not look away. Scott had green eyes. That was unexpected. It was also unexpected how absolutely soulful they were. Rogue decided she had never seen real puppy dog eyes before. These were deep limpid pools of absolute cuteness. It was definitely a good thing he wore those glasses, cause if he didn't, he'd be fending off girls with a stick, herself included.

"What are you staring at?" Pietro interrupted her eye worship.

"Scott's eyes," Rogue breathed, still overwhelmed by their beautiful greenness.

"So what? We see them every-"

"No we don't." Lance said. "Summers, maybe you'd better put the glasses back on, before Kitty comes in."

"What? Why?" Scott said.

"Trust me. Rogue will never be the same again."

Scott shrugged, and slipped his glasses back on. "Ok. It's funny, when I took my glasses off in front of Emma once, she had kinda the same reaction."

"Lucky oblivious jerk," Pietro said under his breath.

Rogue sighed, still thinking about those puppy eyes


	5. Chapter 5

"Like, the movie was great Lance! Thanks for taking me," Kitty said, as they walked up the road towards the Brotherhood house.

"I'm glad you liked it. Maybe we could do it again sometime?" Lance asked, scuffing his foot on the ground.

"Like, totally! I'd love to!" Kitty squealed. "But, would you mind if I just used your bathroom real quick before I go home?"

"Of course not!" Lance said, throwing open the door. He immediately wished he hadn't.

"_If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe, I'd been married long time ago! Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe!"_

Toad, Tabby, Pietro, Pyro and even Blob were completely rocking out, kicking their feet and waving their arms, copying the Just Dance game on the TV.

"And once again, I have no idea what's going on here."

"They're just playing a game, Lance. It looks like fun!" Kitty giggled.

"We only have one Wii remote!" Lance said.

"Oh. So four of them are just, um, backup dancing?" Kitty said.

"I don't suppose you can wait 'til you get to the mansion?" Lance asked, backing out the door. "I don't want them to see us and force me to join in, like the last time."

"What?"

Two teenagers ran down the road to the blasting tune of 'Cotton-Eye Joe'."


	6. Chapter 6

_"David"_

Someone's calling David.

I'm not David.

I'm Lukas.

But maybe I used to be David.

She's always calling "David, David, David!"

We get tired of it.

_"David!"_

I'm Kirbax the Kraklar.

_"David!"_

Now I'm Chronodon. Nobody goes around calling "Chronodon, Chronodon, Chronodon!" all the time.

Nobody says, "Come here, Chronodon!"

They say, "Go away, Chronodon!"

_"David!"_

Better not call me again Because I'm the Wolfman.

Do you know what the Wolfman does when you yell "Come here!" at him?

The Wolfman comes allright. Then He tears you to pieces.

Unless I come to save you.

I kill the Wolfman with one fist.

Because I'm Jack Wayne.

Lucky for you I'm not David, who couldn't kill the Wolfman.

David couldn't kill a Fiend.

_"Thats it, David!"_

I'm not David.

_"I'm coming to get you and you are going to be sorry!"_

I'm a centaur.

_"Come back here, young man!"_

Ha! I'm Marci Sabol, riding a centaur!

_"I couldn't catch him... Charles, will you catch him?"_

I'm Compass Rose, I'm far away!

_"I can't catch him...Jean, will you catch David?"_

I'm Protozoan Porter.

_"Cant anyone...Catch David? ...Scott?...Storm?"_

I'm Zero G. Priestly, and I'm in outer space.

_"You're in big trouble now, young man!"_

We can't hear a word she's saying because I'm halfway to mars.

_"You'll come home when you're hungry and then you're going to get ti!"_

If we could hear you, we'd worry.

Anyhow, you're never hungry on Mars.

_"No TV for the rest of the month!_

K-Zek gets TV. Every Channel. I can watch all my shows and she'd never even know it.

_"You have a lot of learning to go, young man!"_

Wow! We're alone in space!

This is what I wanted my whole life!

I'm hungry.

Space is stupid.

I'm Lukas again.

I'll put on a David face so they don't know I'm Lukas.

I'll go home.

They'll think I'm David. They'll feed me.

And then they better let me watch TV.

Or I'll kill them.

**Based on the book "I'm not Bobby" by Jules Feiffer.**

**All personalities used are canon. **


	7. Chapter 7

"Blob."

Blob looked up. "Yeah, Pietro?"

Pietro waved his hand, as if brushing away his teammate's response. "Blob. Why Blob? And why Toad?"

"What?"

Pietro sat up straight in the easy chair he was sitting on. "Names! Why names?"

Blob began edging towards the stairs. "Uhh, maybe you should ask Lance. I bet he knows…"

"Yes. You should do that. Get Toad, also." Pietro instructed, sitting back and pressing his fingertips together, looking very much like a mad dictator.

Blob lumbered up the stairs and entered Lance's room. "Lance, Pietro's acting weird, and he says he wants you and Toad."

Lance sighed; dropping the school book he was holding and standing up. "Alright, go and get Toad. We might as well see what Pietro's up to now."

As the Brotherhood entered the living room, Pietro zoomed over to Lance. "Quick! Who picked your Codename?"

"Um…Mystique."

"Ha! Did she think it was funny? But you're an anomaly. Everyone else-"Here he paused, surveying the room with serious eyes. "Everyone else…picked their own."

"Ookay…And this is important because?" Lance asked.

"Because _everyone_ else picked their own!" said Pietro, as if imparting the wisdom of the ages.

"I don't get it." Toad said, hopping onto the couch.

The speedster sighed. "Name one mutant we know who doesn't have a codename."

The room was silent for a moment, as three teens thought.

"I can't think of one," admitted Lance.

"Me neither," said Blob.

"Me threeither," added Toad.

"See? It's like some sort of impulse only mutants get, to pick a codename. And not just any name, it's something to do with our powers, sometimes a play on our names…"

"Like what?" asked Lance.

"Your name is _Lance Alvers._ Mytique must think she's so smart for noticing that. And Toads real name is Todd. Hmm. Do you think that if his name was Frank, we would be calling him Frog?" Pietro paused for a moment to muse this.

Toad nodded. "Yeah, I get it now. And you picked your name, 'cause you're fast and have silver hair."

"What? No! That not why I picked it! Why would I go for something so stupidly obvious? We don't call you Brown Jumper, do we?"

"Well what does it mean, if that not it?"

"Quicksilver is another name for mercury. And in Roman myth, Mercury was the god with wings on his feet," Pietro explained.

"Wow. That's pretty cool. Nice hidden meaning. I wouldn't have pegged you as the type to think it out that deeply." Lance said.

"I have super speed. I think ten times faster than everyone else. Why does everyone expect me to be an idiot? I'm a genius!" Pietro complained.

"Do all geniuses run into walls by accident?" Toad asked innocently.

Pietro leaned forwards. "No, but all know how to make their enemies live a living hell." He growled.

Toad gulped. "Hehe. Good thing we're friends then, right?"

"Leave me. I must decide whether or not this is a plot to destroy mutant kind."

"What? You have been watching way too many of Magneto's speeches. Try a soap opera next time you want to watch TV. I'll be upstairs. Get me if someone's dying." Lance said, walking upstairs, shaking his head.


End file.
